The walk back...

The mist clad greens that loomed large,around us.And the twilight that fell softly above us.The rings of hot air we breathed onto the cool air,at times on the panes of the rusted, brown wagon,always by the desolate inn.Roughly , awkardly writing our names and watch them evaporate.And the times we doubled up with laughter,at the silliness of it all, tinkling and echoing through the stretch of the tree lined road. The reverberations across the valley spreading our joy. The warmth of your palm over my hands, the weight of your arms draped over my shoulder, my safest haven, your embrace.The jerk of your body, when i broke free from intrelocked fingers and jogged ahead.

You always hated it when i did that.

But I would turn on the hairpin bend, snap my head back and saw your anger, faked by your boyish grin. And run among those tall bushes, i'd quiet my quickened breath,and strain to hear your footsteps, approaching ,clicking on the cobblestone road, looking for me. Through the mesh of leaves and twigs, stiffling giggles I would run deeper inside.

You always hated it when i did that.

The rustle as I brushed past the leaves ,cracking dried twigs beneath me.You would then come rushing through, suddenly, chasing, till you caught me by the waist and hoisted me. Grappling for balance we would roll over. That lasted through all of summer, all of fall, and each time I waited, impatiently, for you to catch up, knowing my world was coming to me, in search of me, for me. Reveling in the fluster it caused in you.

I always loved it when you did that-come for me.

And then the winds changed.With the snow you were gone.I still walk each day, in hurried, short steps, arms crossed and walk past the known bend and into the bushes,the garvel only grunted below and the silent skies stared.Unsympathetic, Unapologetic. Mocking.You would not come up behind me.To me.for me.

I hate it when you do this.

Only tonight, my knees turned jelly as I melted into the plains.rolling, feeling, your weight over me, your hands behind the nape of my neck, the tiny sharp stones pricking the back of your palm.your breath, hot in my face. The moments that froze, the time stood still, until tonight.when you walked besides, and over to the cliff ,along the precipitous edge.And all the eye could see was the dimmed horizon, faint dots brighter by the second, the free falling mass of earth and rock beneath, and all around me, the breeze growing stronger as they rounded up over the landscape and back at me. I stagger and fall back into your arms once more and close my eyes. I had found my home.Your search had ended in me.and now you were with me, in me. Then through haze of tears and disbelief, brushing the dirt off me, smoothing the creases of my skirt, tucked the straying strands behind the ears.

Acceptance came late .That you were gone. No time machine would bring you back and yet you strengthened my resolve with your absence.

Time doesn’t wait up for us to catch up. One shall move on, the past reconciled, the present embraced and and the future anticipated.

I let the arms fall by my side. Walking back, in giant strides, with purpose now. It's a long walk back.

A new star is born

Why seek ,in grief, the dark,
and shed those tears, 
mourn till the salts
no longer sting the eyes,
no phantom to prey on fears.


All are but, serving time,
in this passage. 
Mere travelers,
only differential quests.
Do we then strive?
To be the unknown,
why waste time wailing alone.
Make haste to carve a place 
under the skies,
to call our own.


Wait not for sun to shine in your face.
Someone to hold a candle to you

To smile, wide and bright, and,

relentlessly trudge day and night.

If you must be up there,

when you can be the sun,

raise the bar,

why sweat,

to be some odd star?

And when everything's gone , 
lost and done,
the footprints shall show you walked, 
tall and proud.
And through the eons,
times shall sing of your journey aloud.

Safety Pin

Among other torn parts,
it could fix,
I knew not
it mended,
broken hearts,
Coming to rescue
time and again.
to put it all together,
and,to fix the pain.
The humble safety pin.

You and I

I break out into cold sweats
in nights of fire and ice.
You fill my every waking moment,
awakened behind closed eyes.
Without you, 
desires have left my side,
Oh baby! just once, 
walk into my arms,
open and wide.
The wait, is long endured,
bereft of love,
empty of you.
Come, ease this pain.
Come, fill my heart.
Come, fill my soul.
for you and I,
were meant to be whole.

Someday

In times spent

preening by the ornate mirror.

Me smeared, of colors.

That filled her beautiful lips.

Her angelic face, nearly as red,

with false anger and arched brow,

as she put away the broken bits.

And wiped clean my face,

with the back of her palms.

Someday, thought I,

I would pout,

proud of the redness

and of my own fullness,

Just as she did.

She stood me,

on the high table

I could not reach otherwise

And unwrapped me from

yards of splendid fabric,

sighing at the tears I had caused

mulling over the damage, lips curved.

Someday, thought I,

I would sizzle like on fire

draped in those very silk

and make hearts flutter,

Just as she did.

She sat me down

and put away the stilettos,

awkward and wobbly in mine.

She, an epitome of grace.

And when she walked in them,

Oh! I would watch amazed.

Someday, thought I,

I would walk like a dream,

on air, high on cloud nine,

and the gait shaming a 1000 doe's,

Just as she did.

Through the lowered lids,

and silence then,

I did not see anger or pain,

yet the salts stung at my eyes,

rolling down my cheeks,

that she kissed away.

And held me in a warm embrace.

Quiet now in her snuggle,

 she sniffed ,for she had known

that someday her angel would be

scrubbing them off few of her own.

Now, I smell, smudge the tips of

every shade by my dressing table,

I feel the best of my wardrobe,

crisp, shining in neat rows.

I look at the shiny black pair,

in the closet, left ajar.

And smile.

At the missing one from the rack,

At the faint clicks down the hallway,

My bundle of joy in a cat walk.

I know I can never fill your shoes, 

Any day.

Love you Mom. 

Born Wild!!

The upturned goblet of fire, the sun kissed rim of earth,

edgy,drowning deeper, into ,the iridescent liquid gold.

The capricious winds ride high on arrogant waves,

that catch and scatter, the slanted glint.

Heaven’s canvas, crimson and wispy billowy cotton,

Of steadily gleaming specks, brighter, shinier and into them

fade away the home bound birds, farther away.

 

Nearer, the eager, cool water,eagerly lap at the ankles

And quickly shy away,jealously sucked in by a possessive lover.

But, anon,

 the giant currents splash them back.wetting the fairer sands.

Occasionally, sea swept,abandoned mollusks,devoid of nacre,

crackle beneath ambled steps,embed deeper into the loose earth.

The roar of sea, straining at the ear drums, throb, soothing the frayed mind.

Like the bubbles of froth,that form and cease in between the toes.

Something spoke, deep within, thunderingly clear,
Let go.

And dissolved in saline, washed away were the parasites

That clung on long, stifling,drawing away the soul’s very breath.

Like the pen, held a little too long for comfort, 

Was it any heavier?No.
Yet that lugged heavy on the heart. Needless, all the while.

Did it get any lighter? Yes.

No longer burdened by the shackles,

A free spirit soars, defying gravity,

in a dance of liberation,rejoices.

And ,the voice speaks, again.

Like each seed, holds in it, a promise of a thousand forests.

Imprison not the spirit,in barren lands of darkened thoughts.

For it is, Born wild, Born free!