All Fizzles no sizzles makes KwK a damp squib

...and precisley the cause of wanting to discontinue the talk show. 3 episodes down and clearly there is no novelty in Season 3 to keep viewers glued to it.

The 4th episode was the directors special, featuring- the celebrated triumvirate with a golden run at the BO- Farah Khan, Raju Hirani and Imitiaz Ali. While no intellectually stimulating conversations are expected out of a coffee talk show, hosted by a successful director of over the top, extravagant and ostentatious mainstream commercial cinema in tinselville, one does wish for better standards in such genres on the small screen.

No comparisons can ever be fair and no point wasting words over it but I was looking forward to some food for thought from some of the biggest filmmakers of this decade. By themselves the 3 brought a certain amount of gaiety and good humor into the proceedings, but it still felt being left high and dry. K Jo barely scratched the surface unlike the episodes featuring celebrities who were churning out enough drama offscreen to keep the gossip mills running.

Startling revelations, candid confessions and potential scandals is what this season seems to seek and thrive on. Agreed, KJo is an integral part of the filmy fraternity and hence he is already an insider, knows his guests , his style is becoming all too familiar and repetitive, his near perfect diction and poise marred by silly giggles and gayish behavior seeming too full of himself.

In the directors special episode, Hirani shared how life changed after the iconic Munnabhai, the impact the movie had in terms of the social message and on a personal note, thanks to the "Gandhigiri " notion  how he was served only pineapple/orange juice at parties.

The dashing and handsome Ali spoke of his little known " Socha Na Tha" and his journey through Love Aaj Kal. The 3 directors bring to us diverse forms of cinema and exchange of ideas on the formula for what works and doesnt work at BO salvaged my interest which was definitely headed southward.

Moving to the episode that followed bringing together the much hyped much talked about our very own Brangelina couple- Saifeena.One word- Boring. The two are way too starry eyed and very much in love and full of praise for each other, even ridiculously arrogant. So lets leave them with that and hope Kareena has some senses knocked into that pretty head of hers. Before she takes digs at her peers she should know her own success rate at BO isnt exactly glowing. Strictly personal view, stop coming across as a dumb blonde and get rid of that attitude. The Chote Nawab is blue blood and Kareena is blue eyed and that entitles them to have certain airs  but needs to be kept in check. The hamper was deservedly won by Saif for his restrained but witty responses. Dont believe the trailer it wasnt all that it was being made out to be. And, Piggy chops has ofcourse scored with her reactions that were splashed across tabloids and newsfeed in nondescript channels.

And yesterday, it was the evergreen , moustached Anil Kapoor with Sanjay ' Rocky' Dutt and a made up, cakey Kangana Ranaut. It was a lively chat sprinkled with laughter and god natured humor that emanates from being in the industry for as long as they have and been through major-minor upheavels placed strategically in their respective careers. The Dixit factor drew some chuckles too. Nonetheless, it was more of a studied and /or rehearsed act, given that all 3 guests decided to play it safe and refuse to let anything slip from the lip that could spell controversy.

Anil spoke of how he was rejected when he auditioned for the role of Sanjay's friends in Rocky and then again in Swami dada by Dev Anand. He also elaborates on his new innings with H wood in MI 4. He was at his Jhakkas  candid best and the most entertaining one on the set. Sanjay steered clear of stating anything that could become fodder for filmy magazines and gossip mongers. Good for him, with a not so clean slate to speak of his demeanor can only mean common sense.

The usually outspoken Kangana on the other hand decide to play demure in her flowing, leg baring , stylish yellow gown and kept those bee stung (read collagen injection) lips mum while clearing the air on the rumors surrounding her personal life with clipped responses. While the accent war is on , one cant help notice how weird Kangana's is.Not to be nasty or demeaning but she could work on it just like she did on her lithe-then-voluptuous -now frame.

Cricket and Bollywood, together, are the single biggest mode of entertainment in this country and also constitutes the celebrities/ P3P's strata of the society, and the two are often intertwined. Hence, to be able to manage a chat show with soaring TRP, the production houses put their weight behind either the inhabitants of B Town or sporting heroes or simply anyone who is the toast of the season (read in news for reasons, right or wrong).

To lament on the state of affairs of the small screen is a drain on my grey cells. Let the sleeping dogs lie, for now.

The ot'her' in We

The temperature on the sets of Koffee with Karan are rising. Outside of it too. TRP's and finally, tempers.

If episode 2 had two contemporary actors sharing the couch and facing a battery of questions on the show, it was the two lissome ladies, DP and SK taking potshots.
We had channels in days following the airing of the episode show us angry outburst by Sr. Kapoor and rumors are rife on the family's reaction and equation between KJo and the RK parivaar.
On the show, however, a lot of clarifications were made and air cleared over all that the press had churned out since the debut of the ladies in B'wood.
The girls seemed at ease in each others presence when it is a hard sold fact that two women can never be friends, especially where a man happens to be the common factor. And DP even goes on to say that if two women are on even keel its difficult to remain friends.
DP for most parts clarified on how she prefers to handle her personal relation post the done-to-death ' break up' thanks to RK's wandering ways and roving eyes. Sonam seemed to acknowledge that opinion.
The epidsode by itself wasnt an entertainer but thanks to some witty and whacky responses in the rapid fire, in its aftermath it managed to garner publicity for the show. As for recall value, one could deduce it was more of a RK bashing going on there.
And the coveted hamper went to..........both the ladies as it was a tie. Why KJo even got them to gorge on the pastries on air.
Next week,looking forward to director trio of, Farah Khan+ Raj kumar Hirani +Imitiaz Ali sharing screen space.

Split/Spilt beans..It all happens over a cup of coffee

Verdict: Episode 2 was a blast!!!

Two of the hottest, sought after brand from the youth brigade in tinseltown takes audience on a joyride with their fiery wit and capricious ardor. Why there was even a lip lock to send the TRP's in a tizzy.

Scion of the Kapoor khandaan and the first 3rd Gen male superstar from the original first family of bollywood is a firebrand and relaxed in the face of perceived pressures of stardom and the adulations rests easy on his wiry frame.

When you have a Khan for a surname you are already a star. But this accidental star exudes a relaxed charm, poise and is as unassuming as the boy next door, but for the "chocholate boy " looks that one cant help draw comparison to his uncle's early years as an actor.

Together, the two, are pure entertainment for 60 min's and paisa vasool.They might as well have been your pals in college days, playing the fool, and bringing the dorm down with their bufoonery antics.

RK won the much coveted hamper. The two even tried seducing KJ for it and quite hilariously so. It was a laugh riot yet I wouldnt single out any one instance. It was what it promised to be.
Fun watch for timepass.

DYK? We see most of the guests go ga-ga over the hamper. Why?

A sneak peak:

~~BlackBerry Torch

~~ A Samsung Tab

~~ A box of chocolates from the Grand Hyatt

~~ A box of Lindt Swiss thins

~~ A box of mini cupcakes

~~ Vicenzi's Mini Snack puff pastry rolls filled with hazelnut cream

~~ A maroon Koffee With Karan mug

~~ Gourmet ground coffee

~~ A small bottle of Nescafe Classic

~~ Bailey's Irish Cream

~~ A scented candle

~~ A small bottle of Leonidas chocolate spread

~~ A bottle of Burberry Sport for women

Hmmmm......................

Next week features the leading ladies of recent times Deepika and Sonam both of whom have come of be a permanent fixture in Hindi cinema. One comes from a filmy lineage and the other has positioned herself firmly without a godfather in the otherwise 'camps' ruled industry. That , both , the lissome ladies have had enough press over a 'certain someone' in common should make for some interesting conversation. Not to mention the media hoopla that shall follow.

On that note, I shall go pick up my coffee!!

Action Repulsive

Somebody please turn back the hands of time and prevent this horror in the making.
Yes, it is as horrendous as the garish poster.

A tale of unspeakable torture. A WMD!! (Uncle Sam are you listening?)
What were Ash-Akki-Vipul Shah thinking? Er..should that be, not thinking? Even by Bwood's ridiculous leave-ur-brains-at-home capers this one's managed to hit the rock bottom.

Verdict: Suggested viewing for euthansia aspirants.
On that note hand me an Aspirin please. Throw in some Valium too. I must have been suicidal to have watched it. But I survive to be of service to you.

Koffee for all s(r)easons

This Diwali weekend, it drizzled, rained and then for some good measure,poured.

The folks in 'power' must've mused that the lamps shall lighten up the moonless night anyways, why not save on electricity. Brilliant!! And then the cablewallah had some  DIY fixes for why the channels were either blacked out or grainy. 

So when the two finally come together, I find myself unwinding in front of the ibox and ended up being all wound up.(Not just with what will follow in the post but broadly on the state of affairs of the television as a medium of mass entertainment in our country.)

Back on track and to be specific, caught the "It" & 'waiting-in-the-shadows' couple from the first family of Bollywood on KJo's show over Upma (well. ...it was dinner time) and am glad it wasnt my coffee time else I would have wanted to spill it all over Annoyingly Ridiculous Bahu (read Aishwarya Rai Bacchan).

For reasons and logic best known to KJo he ropes in Ash and AB baby to open the 3rd season of his popular talk show.

And its dark.
Actually their respectiver designers, stayed conservative by dressing all 3 in black.For Ash, it's justified-  she does look plump so saves the day for her. Yeah yeah, its unfair, the pressures of looking good all the time but hey, since when does the crown rests lightly.
The studio included could have done up with more colors and with lot more panache.

And its irritating.
Actually it's Ash. She giggles endlessly. Plus, she needs to be reminded she is on Karan's show not Cannes Press conference. The accent + giggles only makes you wish she zips the lips. It only lends more credit to the claims of all those who call you Ice-maiden and fake .
She is a pretty sight, anytime.Drool factor. Still packs a punch at 37.

And its lukewarm.
Actually it's Junior B. He chose to remain on the fence. Diplomacy was his mantra. While Ash ventured to couple of bold statement which were very unlike her previous apperances on the show.

Sample this:

K Jo: Do you like being in the eye of the storm?
ARB:My name is not Khan.
Get a life honey. Your man can't do in a lifetime what the Khan Triumvirate can in a single release- Whip up a frenzy. I don't deny it was a dumb question (read for blonde's) in the first place, who does? From where you stand maybe no publicity is better than negative publicity but if it works for others, you neednt pontificate or sit on judgement. By making statements like these you are doing exactly that- more publicity.

K Jo:  X, Y Z who is the actor  for all seasons? (Btw,Bacchan's werent amongst the options)
ARB: It's the Bacchans for all seasons. 
Now, lady,that sounds stupidly eccentric, weirdly self-obsessed and an pompous ***

K Jo: Who wont be on your party guest list?
ARB: All those who are on your's.
Its common knowledge that most of it is of your own doing. Why drag K Jo's camp into this?
Tactless. Tch-Tch!

K Jo: Who would be the only persson you would like to be stranded with on an island?
ARB:Mallika Sherawat. Then AB baby will come running for her but lead him to me.

Sic.Sic.The way she mouthed the name and contoured her face she might as well have spat.

Glad Jr B won the hamper.Much ado bout nothing. The hamper I mean.

It was amusing to hear ARB say she doesnt like the girl talks on bags and shoes and compliments when she talks/walks/breathes/ exudes ultra feminity on and off screen.I mean come off it. The elaborate elegant, prim proper act you put on 24/7 speaks an entirely different language altogether and then you say you have a thing against it. If you are a 'buddy'- like one among the boys -as the hubby says, then you truly are one helluva actress.

As for wittiness She had this to say in her rapid fire Q & A;
K Jo: Can you pass a mirror without looking at it?
ARB: Yeah. Why upset the mirror?

Found that pretty Duh huh!!!! Add to this the million times K Jo parroted " the most beauitful woman on earth" , its an over kill. Even for a beauty of Ash's calibre it sure was.

The 1 min 'sing ode for the couple' videos of tinseltown brethren added nothing of value. Considering no one will , ever, admit on camera how brilliant papa is, how beautiful wife is, how talented mom is but beta bacchan is no where in the race. He is a prankster, fun to work with, brings so much energy to work and is a live wire. And yes the smile and eyes. I mean the man is a legend. Despite the track record, he actually has directors/ producers wanting to work with him. Plus a natural multipurpose. great eye candy for shutter bugs to go tizzy over+ decent enough hanger for trophy, picture perfect, 10/10 better half.

For Jr. B its a forever battle, not to beat the race but to even be in the race.Wicked.Lol!

While baby B acknowledged that " wife is always right" it was a natural progression to see the wifey devour the first episode. Ash beat Rani (rumored) and Karisma (fact) to him and still considered the one who got the raw deal between the two. (Ok, only for a moment forget that she bagged the Bacchan surname). Not that the sidey ' prince' or the eternal bad boy with a heart of gold ' being human' would make an difference. She is indeed a star in her own right and has earned it. But blowing your own trumpet, give us a break!! If your arent Khan and meant that as a sacrcasm isnt it ironic you are doing just that.

Trivia:Bacchans arent , really, Bacchans. It was Sr.B's poet daddy's adopted pen name.

The couple doesnt have the sharp humor meets style diva of an SRK-Gauri ;baritone meets grace of an Amitabh-Jaya, or Fun meets more fun of a Rishi-Neetu pairing, but they work magic anyways. Lest one thinks I am an Ash-Abhi fan, note I said Magic. If one interprets magic as something that science cannot sufficiently explain i.e, no logic to speak , then yes the couple do have a magic they rub off on people, the surname notwithstanding.

Wasn't quite the flag off one would expect. Next week has Ranbir 'rocking' Kapoor and Imran 'impish' Khan on the couch, spoofing a 'dostana' kodak moment. The advert for it promises a fun ride , so looking forward to the youth brigade of B town making more of a splash and Oomph!
Why the O?
You shall know.
Next week.

Lift Kara de!!!!

Phew!!!!


The first of instance, an attack of claustrophobia, and fear running in your veins. And for a good 15 minutes the heart chose to rise up to the roof of my mouth and stay put even as I put up a brave front. Brave considering the uncontrollable tremor that was shaking up my insides. Was petrified to say the least but why make it obvious. And I summon little soldiers to assemble inside my head for a quick survey of all faculties and senses to be in order. And 'presence of mind' was caught napping. But was pulled upto the task.

The 2 men were playing it cool and sharing valuable insight on To-do's / dont's ICE and the laws of physics ( long forgotten, not that I could recall under these circumstnces anyways).
Lady 2 chooses to keep a sombre expression and stick to a corner, holding on to the hollow cylindrical metal pipe running along the insides of the lift for grip as if bracing before the free fall. Related disaster scenes from movies and videos on youtube all come to me in a rush and flash past.Shudder!! Man 2 I think the lift is moving. We are going down. Yikes!!!!Pure panic in my head now. 2 seconds I still myself and no we ain't going down.

The stale smell of coffee, food and the likes churn up an volcano deep in the gut and I resist the urge to throw up.The fact I was holding my breath wasnt helping and making me slightly dizzy.Motion sickness is the word i think. Or the lack of it.

The power is back now. The A/C hums and the cool air comes as somewhat a relief.The men fiddle with most of the buttons on the panel. Nothing happens for a while. And then the beeper goes off incessantly. Sinister, more than ever, in the pin drop silence. And then the door closes shut suddenly and with such force ( or maybe it was the echo, doubling the effect) that a shriek escapes me. I mumble an apology. 2.3.4 minutes... the doors slowly open to one of the many exits on another floor. We cant get off. Different company and access/entry is prohibited. 

Man 1 makes a call to the security. Couple of minutes later ( feels like an eternity by now) .Again,nothing happens as time stands still.Only the reassurance that the front desk lady is getting help.

We toy with the idea of stepping out or remain in the lift. Man 2 is fidgety, hopping in and out and waves occasionally at the doors in the hope that the motion sensors are working.The men ,1 and 2 ,get out and try and convince the security to allow us passage to the entrance (we were in service lift remember) but the chap remains unconvinced. Not allowed Madam. Idhar se nahi jaa sakte.

Couple of exchanges ( read pleads n teary eyed expression) and he concedes defeat and finds us an escort, who lead us out of the floor and through the front/main entrance.I course let my eyes linger on the interiors of the lets call it XYZ firm. Boring to say the least.


And ,we are back to the lift lobby having come a full circle now. And I breathe easy. Sigh,actually ,with relief. My legs are still wobbly as we cover one last floor by foot.
 
All in a day's work. Here and there it might seeem overtly dramatic but it was so for Lady 1 (yep, it's me).

It's been a while....

...since I wrote last and the world has seen a good number of dawns and dusks.


And, I have few dozen flicks to speak of :D

And a dozen week since my last post,however, a variety of issues, ranging an amazing spectrum have caught my eye and interest....


Run up to the CWG and right until a somewhat let down of a closing ceremony. Of course, my innate sense of national pride doesn't come at Rs 70k crore.
The Down under's tour of India and related happenings in the visitor's lair. (For a nation of war time criminals, and social misfits/outcasts they sure are living up to their history.)
The inexplicable yet humongous success of a trite of a flick Dabangg the likes of which B'wood churns out by the assembly line ,Friday after Friday ,at the BO.
The unrelenting monsoon across India lay bare the woeful infrastructure in place ( if there was one in the first place that is) and the workings of the planning commission.
Or, the more recent political shamble in K'taka and the widely covered horse-trading (such fine animal that and reduced to such/ much malign, sigh!)


....were the most talked about, passionately debated and heatedly discussed topics over lunch, coffee breaks, bus stops, queues and the likes ...take your pick and any which way the combo worked for you, there is an 90% probability you have have been part of them, active or passive.


With so much turmoil and misplaced sense of nationalism amongst the masses and classes it came as little surprise to me that none of the wise owls in my periphery had heard of the heinous crime at Kota, Rajasthan a little under a month ago. And again, the probability lies on the extreme left of you even recalling the appalling, blood curdling, sordid story.De sensitization is what one figures happened. Democracy has its say. We are exposed to much violence in all its manifestations across all modes of mass media that another
AMRMCB ( accosting, molesting, rape,murder in cold blood) and subsequent cover up is no big deal. HuMAN life (sorry womenfolk, you ain't worth a mention) , unless you are a celebrity, socialite or a prominent political figure, doesn't seem to hold much value in the largest democracy of the world. 


The Great Indian Jugaad- omnipotent, omnipresent- works each time.We of course shall raise a hue ad cry when the mark hits home.

 The silver lining amongst all the gloom, of monsoon and otherwise was the laudable show by our sporting men and women at CWG and at a personal front, the release of my bro's music album- Krishna Yog.
While on personal front, I managed nicks and scrapes on my blue eyed boy, run ins with errants on road as also a parking ticket.So how does that make it to this list. It doesn't. The outcome is I have learnt to be a lot more responsible.


I dint really have much in mind when I started off with this piece. And the intent definitely was not to infuse negativity in what I reckon is a blissful extended weekend for most of you ahead of mother of all festivals in India- Diwali.


To end on a happy note I would recommend " Jhoota hi sahi" from Abbas Tyrewala's stable , a delightful chick flick/romance/sitcom hybrid genre.Yes I am hopelessly biased to some one in particular but rest assured that aint the only reason this time around. And no, I am not following this up with a review of this one. 


For the B'wood  fare addicts however here's a handy guide.

Anjaana Anjaani:- Statutory warning: Stay away from it.And if you must see the landscapes I suggest you buy an encyclopedia on the US of A.

Crook: It's a spoof. Honestly.Don't even risk this one.You are likely to turn into a serial killer if you do.

Khichdi: To be seen only if your IQ is between -10 and -5.

Aakrosh: Old wine new bottle. Neat attempt on a relevant burning national issue but doesn't quite make it. Lacks the punch despite fab chemistry between Devgn and Khanna.

Do Dooni Chaar: A light, heart warming story of the great Indian middle class family- values et all even if somewhat flawed.Sincere portrayal,dedicated cast and the return of talented Neetu-Rishi onscreen jodi make it a must watch.

Knockout: A thriller, loosely on lines of the H'wood flick Phone Booth. Neat work.An avg watch by the standards in this genre but a good watch in comparison to the first three on this list.
RaktaCharithra: Mindless hacking, chopping, mincing, cracking- I am talking human here. Much blood. Much gore. Thats RGV for your. Even for a real story its difficult to stomach for a sane audience. Watch if Satya and Company titillated your senses.Just be warned its an OD by miles.

Enthiran/ Robot: If I were you, I wouldn't go there.Like Science cant explain God, I cant explain this one.Faith makes the world go around and if Rajni it is for you ,so be it.Amen.


A refreshing change from my staple H/B wood were Tolly/ Kolly/Sandal wood fare bringing much delight to my palate.Godavari, Pancharangi,Ready,Manasare...and a few light ones I cant recall.


So long..For now, I have announced a comeback on my blog and will linger for a while.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVaoHlnRldQ