There have been
one too many,
yet to you
its the hardest
good bye to say.
To cherish though
I have
your warm embrace,
snug in your arms,
the rhythm of your breath;
gentle and soft
on my face.
The smell of you,
ever so faint,
that lingers
long after
I am on my own.
The almost telepathic way
you find me,
you find me,
inconsequential talks
of pretense
only to assure me
of your presence.
The gruff shrug ,
"nothing"
you say.
You know
I love you
all the more
for it,
the curve of your
drooping shoulder included,
because
I know
I am never alone.
None of that change,
no matter
how far,
from you,
I am ,away,
I couldnt bid you farewell,
anyday,
its, indeed,
the hardest
good bye to say.
Just love it.
ReplyDeleteEveryone would love to hear these words from their dearest ones. :-)
Nice read. The aspect of accepting facts & moving on after a relationship has been brought out in a beautiful manner. Poem has a message and tries to look at a painful aspect in a positive, optimistic note, thats where it's beauty lies. A poem belonging to the feel good variety of poems rolled out by the authoress like before, this once again brings out her capability in making things look really beautifull, projecting the +ve side of a -ve reality, painting a rosy picture & an optmisitc tomorrow very we. This is where she scores very well. This piece along with others on similar lines can be used as an antidote by the victims of a failed relationship. I am sure it would definitely bring in a smile and instill hope and make them look forward to future on a optimistic note, thats where it strength lies. Hats off on that.
ReplyDeleteWell, even though are lot of pluses in the poem it does have few shortcomings. They are:-
Once again, the authoress has resorted to the same trend as evident in her previous poems i.e., moving on with a smile after the end of a painfull process. Now this can raise lot of questions like how good is it to feel good words without conveying the pains appropriately? Doesn't it amount to just projecting one side of the coin? Looking at similar poems, raises a question whether the authoress is unable to come out of her limitations i.e., projecting only facet and ignoring the rest,falling short of being complete. This aspect of her poems conveying a sort of incompleteness or the hurry to publish them strikes the mind after going through most of the poems! Agreed a poem is not a essay or prose and will more or less always show one aspect of the topic it's talking about, doesn't justify the process being repeated again and again. There is danger of the author getting caught in the web of this shortcoming and never trying to come out of it, thereby placing a boundary for herself. Sincerly wish such a talented person is not lost in that.
Another aspect evident from such poems is that they appear to be conveyed by a well wisher ..a third person and not the one who is suffering.. thereby falling short of describing the associated pains. It appears an onlooker who is not at all experienced nor aware of how painfull the process is, talking or trying to convey messages to uplift the mood and fill it with optimism. This attributes can make the poem appear one sided and superficial and not coming from a person who has really experienced what love and separation are and is just doling out feel good statements. Hence she needs to watch out the fact that she can be considered as a third person who has never experienced what she is talking about and hence her poems may fall short of describing the reality more realistically within the poetic realm.
Any poem which doesn't cover all facets, appear to be distanced from facts can fall short of becoming great no matter how good it is. The authoress needs to keep a watch on this.
Another danger what these poems can convey is, does the authoress intentionally seek it? does she bring in the temporary aspect purposefully and doesn't believe in permanency of relationships? is she not aware of it or experienced it and has seen only failures? yes there is no point in linking a work to it's owner and considering them to be same but the danger of the above branding cannot be ruled out as any work reflects it's writer outlook and perspectives in some sort.
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